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When Gratitude Feels Hard: Making Space for Real Emotions…

Everywhere you look right now, it’s all about gratitude.
Gratitude journals. Gratitude challenges. Gratitude posts with perfect fall leaves and steaming mugs of something cozy.

And don’t get me wrong – gratitude can be a powerful things. But sometimes? It’s complicated.

Because what if this year doesn’t feel like one you’re especially thankful for? What if things are heavy – or lonely, or uncertain – and the pressure to “focus on the good” just feels like one more thing you’re not doing well enough?

If that sounds familiar, you’re in good company.

The Pressure to Feel Grateful

We live in a culture that loves a good positivity campaign – especially around the holidays. Everywhere you turn, there’s a message about choosing joy, counting blessings, or remembering how lucky you are. And while those ideas aren’t wrong, they can hit differently when your heart’s in survival mode.

Maybe you’ve lost someone. Maybe your mental health has been hanging by a thread. Maybe you’re just tired – emotionally, physically, or spiritually – and the idea of “just being grateful” feels tone-deaf at best.

That doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It means you’re human.

When Gratitude Turns Into Guilt

Gratitude is meant to help us notice the small moments that make life meaningful – but somewhere along the line, it got tangled up with pressure and performance.

If you’ve ever thought, “I should feel more grateful,” you’ve felt that pressure. If that kind of self-talk sounds familiar, you might like this post on common cognitive distortions — it explores how subtle thought patterns can make us feel like we’re “failing” at gratitude or happiness.

It’s subtle, but it can turn something tender into something that feels like homework.

When gratitude becomes an obligation, it can actually disconnect us from ourselves. Instead of acknowledging what’s true – “This is hard right now” – we might rush to fix it with a forced silver lining. That kind of “toxic positivity” doesn’t make pain go away; it just asks it to wear a smile.

Gratitude That Makes Room for the Hard Stuff

Here’s the thing: authentic gratitude isn’t about pretending everything’s okay. It’s about recognizing that even when things aren’t okay, there can still be small moments of goodness worth noticing.

It might sound like:

• “I’m grateful I made it through today.”
• “I’m grateful for people who show up, even when I’m not easy to be around.”
• “I’m grateful for a quiet moment, or a warm blanket, or the way my pet greets me.”

It doesn’t have to be poetic or profound. It doesn’t even have to feel particularly “positive.” Real gratitude is gentle. It coexists with sadness, fear and exhaustion – it doesn’t erase them.

Making Space for All of It

This season, give yourself permission to hold both things: the gratitude and the grief. The warmth and the weariness. The moments of connection and the ache of what’s missing.

You don’t have to choose between being thankful or being honest about how you feel. You get to be both.

So maybe instead of forcing gratitude, you can simply notice it – when it shows up naturally, in small, almost invisible ways. Like the sound of laughter in another room. Or a text from someone who really gets you. Or the smell of coffee in the morning.

It’s okay if those moments are brief. They still count.

A Gentle Reflection

If you want to try something this week, here’s a simple prompt to sit with:

What’s one small thing that feels like an anchor for me right now – even if it’s not perfect?

No lists. No pressure. Just a quiet moment of noticing what steadies you, however small it might be.

Because gratitude doesn’t have to be loud or performative to be real. Sometimes, the softest kind – the kind that whispers “I’m still here” – is the most powerful of all.

And if you need a little reassurance that even research agrees it’s okay to struggle with gratitude, this podcast transcript from Greater Good Science Center offers a compassionate perspective.

If you’re finding it especially hard to feel grounded or hopeful right now, you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Therapy can be a space to explore those feelings and rediscover steadiness and self-compassion – one small anchor at a time.

Learn more about how services at AWCC can help. If you’re wondering what getting support might look like, this post on what to expect in therapy offers a look at how we can work together to find steadiness again.

When Halloween Feels Too Scary: Helping Anxious Kids Cope…

You imagined your child racing from house to house, candy bucket in hand, laughing with friends under the glow of porch lights. Instead, they’re clinging to you, covering their ears, or insisting they don’t want to go. If Halloween feels more stressful than fun, you’re definitely not the only parent feeling that way – and there’s nothing wrong with your child for struggling.

For many anxious or sensitive kids, Halloween can be a lot. It’s loud, unpredictable, and full of surprises. People jump out of bushes. Decorations make creepy noises. Costumes change how people look and sound. Even the excitement of candy and crowds can overwhelm their nervous systems.

And while other kids seem to love being scared, your child might genuinely feel unsafe – their body reacting as if those fake ghosts and monsters are real threats. That doesn’t mean they’re overreacting; it means their brain is doing what it’s designed to do: protect them.

🧠 Why Halloween Can Feel Hard

Halloween combines many common anxiety triggers:

• Unpredictability: Kids don’t always know what to expect when approaching a decorated house or event.
• Sensory overload: Flashing lights, loud sounds, itchy costumes, and sugar crashes can all pile up.
• Social pressure: Costumes, parties, and trick-or-treating can feel like performances.
• Darkness and separation: For younger kids, being out after dark or walking ahead without a parent can spike fear.

Even if your child wants to join in, their anxiety can take the wheel. That can leave parents feeling confused, disappointed, or even guilty – like you’re doing something wrong. You’re not. You’re just parenting a child whose nervous system experiences the world differently.

You can learn more about anxiety in children from the Child Mind Institute, which offers practical tips for supporting kids through challenging experiences.

💬 How to Support Your Child (and Yourself)

1. Prepare ahead: Preview what the day or evening will look like. Look at pictures of costumes or decorations together. Visit familiar houses before Halloween night. The more predictability you can offer, the safer your child will feel.
2. Give them choices: Maybe they’d rather hand out candy, go to one house, or wear a cozy hoodie instead of a costume. Letting them have control reduces anxiety and helps them feel confident.
3. Start small: You don’t have to go all-in. A quick loop around the block, a school parade, or a low-key party can be enough. Success builds gradually, not all at once.
4. Focus on comfort: Choose soft costumes, avoid masks if they feel claustrophobic, and take breaks when needed. Bring headphones, fidgets, or familiar comfort items.
5. Model calm and flexibility: If things go off plan, take a breath. Your calm signals safety. Saying something like, “It’s okay – we can head home early,” teaches your child that their needs matter more than appearances.

The Anxiety & Depression Association of America has strategies for helping children manage anxiety triggers and stay calm in overwhelming situations.

🎃 Redefine “Fun”

There’s no rule that says Halloween must include haunted houses or trick-or-treating. Maybe your family decorates pumpkins, bakes spooky treats, or watches It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown with popcorn and pajamas.

The goal isn’t to push through fear – it’s to help your child learn they can feel safe and connected in ways that fit them.

For additional family-focused guidance, HealthyChildren.org (from the American Academy of Pediatrics) offers tips on keeping holidays safe and enjoyable for all children.

💛 A Gentle Reminder

If your child’s anxiety feels bigger than Halloween – if worries, avoidance, or meltdowns are showing up often – it might be a good time to reach out for extra support. With the right tools and understanding, kids can learn to face fears at their own pace and rediscover joy in moments that once felt overwhelming.

You don’t have to do it alone – and neither do they.

If your child’s anxiety feels bigger than you can manage alone, help is available. At Anxiety Wellness Center of Chicagoland, Dr. Bauer specializes in evidence-based therapy for children and teens. Reach out today to learn how she can support your family in building confidence and calm.

HalloweenAnxiety #AnxiousKids #ParentingTips #ChildAnxiety #MentalHealthAwareness #GentleParenting #FamilyWellness #CalmHalloween #SpookySeason #Halloween2025

OCD Is Not an Adjective: Raising Awareness During OCD…

You’ve probably heard someone say it – maybe even said it yourself: “I’m so OCD about that.” “That’s just my OCD.”

It’s usually meant to describe being neat, organized, or particular. But here’s the thing: OCD is not an adjective. It’s not about liking things tidy or color-coded – it’s a serious, often painful mental health condition that deserves real understanding.

At Anxiety Wellness Center of Chicagoland, Dr. Bauer works with individuals every day who live with obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). And what they experience goes far beyond quirks or preferences.

What OCD Really Is

OCD involves unwanted, intrusive thoughts (obsessions) that create intense anxiety or distress – and repetitive behaviors or mental acts (compulsions) done to relieve that distress.

These thoughts aren’t just “a little worry.” They can feel consuming, frightening, and uncontrollable.

Common obsessions might include:

• Fear of contamination or harm
• Intrusive doubts or “what if” thoughts
• Unwanted violent or taboo images
• The need for things to feel “just right”

Compulsions can look like checking, washing, counting, confessing, or seeking reassurance – but sometimes they’re entirely internal.

The key is that these behaviors aren’t done for pleasure or preference – they’re done to quiet unbearable anxiety.

Why Words Matter

When we casually say, “I’m so OCD,” we unintentionally minimize the suffering that comes with the real disorder. It can make people feel unseen or ashamed to talk about what they’re truly going through.

Language shapes understanding – and by using it thoughtfully, we can help reduce stigma and build compassion.

If you catch yourself or someone else using “OCD” as shorthand for “organized,” it’s okay. Most people mean no harm. Just take it as a moment to pause and reframe:

• “I like things neat,” instead of “I’m OCD about cleaning.”
• “I’m detail-oriented,” instead of “I’m so OCD about my planner.”

Small shifts in language can make a big difference.

There Is Hope – and Effective Treatment

The good news is that OCD is highly treatable. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), a specialized form of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), is considered the gold-standard treatment.

With support and the right tools, people can learn to face fears, reduce compulsions, and live fuller, freer lives.

At Anxiety Wellness Center of Chicagoland, Dr. Bauer specializes in evidence-based treatments like ERP and CBT for OCD and related anxiety disorders.

This OCD Awareness Week

Let’s replace stereotypes with understanding.

Let’s trade judgment for empathy.

And most importantly, let’s remember that OCD is not an adjective – it’s a real, treatable condition that deserves compassion and care.

If you or someone you love is struggling with OCD, there is help. Learn more about evidence-based treatment options at Anxiety Wellness Center of Chicagoland.

💙 Learn More and Get Support

If you’d like to learn more about obsessive-compulsive disorder or find additional support, these organizations offer reliable information and resources:

• International OCD Foundation (IOCDF) – Education, research, and support for individuals and families affected by OCD.
• Anxiety & Depression Association of America (ADAA) – Resources on anxiety, OCD and evidence-based treatment options.
• National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) – Information, advocacy and community support for mental health conditions.

Together, we can raise awareness, challenge misconceptions, and promote compassion for those living with OCD.

#OCDAwarenessWeek   •   #OCDIsNotAnAdjective   •   #EndTheStigma
#MentalHealthAwareness   •   #AnxietyWellnessCenterOfChicagoland   •   #OCDRecovery   •   #YouAreNotAlone

Perfectionism: Why It Feels Productive but Leaves You Drained

Do you ever catch yourself triple-checking something that was fine the first time? Or tweaking a project long after everyone else would call it done? That’s perfectionism at work – convincing you it’s productive, while quietly draining your energy.

The Productivity Illusion

On the surface, perfectionism looks like dedication. You meet deadlines, polish projects, and maybe even impress others. But beneath that polished surface, it’s quietly wearing you down.

That flawless report, perfectly curated post, or picture-perfect presentation might earn praise. But does it ever really bring peace? More often, you’re left with racing thoughts, tension, and the nagging feeling that it could still be better.

Perfectionism convinces you that productivity equals worth. But it’s an illusion: you’re working hard, yes, but not always in a way that’s smart, sustainable, or kind to yourself.

Why Perfectionism Drains You

Perfectionism isn’t just about wanting to do well – it’s about trying to avoid discomfort. Fear of mistakes, self-criticism, and the need to control outcomes keep your mind running on overdrive.

Over time, the cost adds up. Perfectionism leaves you:

• Burned out, even when you “accomplish” a lot
• Procrastinating, because the stakes feel impossibly high
• Struggling with self-criticism, even when things go well

Instead of fueling success, it steals your energy – and the more you try to be perfect, the emptier you feel.

How Your Thoughts Feed the Trap

Unhelpful thought patterns act like the walls of a maze: the harder you try to escape, the more stuck you feel. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) helps us notice these thought patterns that fuel perfectionism.

Common thought traps include:

• All-or-nothing thinking: “If it’s not perfect, it’s a total failure.”
• Should statements: “I should always get it right.”
• Overgeneralization: “I made a mistake, so I’m a failure at everything.”

These beliefs trick you into striving harder, but they don’t bring satisfaction – they just deepen the cycle of exhaustion.

Shifting Toward Sustainable Productivity

The goal isn’t to stop caring. It’s to care in ways that don’t wear you out.

A few shifts to try:

• Redefine success: Instead of aiming for perfect, ask yourself: What’s good enough here? Meeting a reasonable standard can feel surprisingly freeing.
• Pause self-criticism: Notice your inner voice scolding you and replace it with the tone you’d use with a close friend – kind, encouraging, patient.
• Experiment with flexibility: Try finishing a task at 90% instead of 110%. Chances are, the world won’t fall apart – and you’ll feel lighter.
• Focus on values, not standards: Perfectionism chases approval. Values point you toward what actually matters – connection, creativity, learning, growth.
• Celebrate progress: Take time to acknowledge small wins. They’re proof that effort – not flawlessness – is what moves you forward.

A Final Word

Perfectionism convinces you that being flawless will finally make you feel safe, loved, or enough. But here’s the truth: you already are enough – messy, imperfect, wonderfully human.

Real productivity, real satisfaction, and real joy comes from balance, self-compassion, and letting go of the impossible standard.

Your best work doesn’t have to be perfect to be enough.

If perfectionism has been leaving you drained, you don’t have to figure it out alone. Therapy can help you shift patterns and reclaim your energy. Let’s take that step together – contact us today.

🍂 Fall Anxiety: How Seasonal Changes Affect Mental Health…

One week you’re soaking up late-summer sunshine, and the next you’re reaching for sweaters, noticing earlier sunsets, and maybe feeling a little unsettled. The transition from summer to fall isn’t just about changing leaves – it can also bring shifts in mood, energy, and anxiety. Understanding how seasonal changes impact your mental health can make the transition smoother, and CBT tools can help you feel more grounded as the days grow shorter.

Why Seasonal Changes in Fall Affect Anxiety and Mental Health

• Shorter days = lower mood. Less sunlight means your body produces more melatonin (the sleepy hormone) and less serotonin (the feel-good chemical), which can leave you tired or irritable.
• Routines shift. Fall often brings busier schedules and new demands, which can trigger “what if” worries.
• Hidden grief for summer. You may catch yourself thinking, “I should’ve done more,” or dreading what’s ahead. Those thought patterns fuel anxiety and low mood.

CBT Strategies to Cope with Fall Anxiety and Seasonal Shifts

• Catch thinking traps. Notice if your mind jumps to all-or-nothing thoughts like “Fall is always hard for me. Ask yourself: Is there another way to see this?
• Anchor in small actions. Even 10 minutes of daylight, movement or checking one thing off your list can create a positive ripple.
• Create seasonal rituals. Cozy routines – journaling, warm drinks, or walks among the leaves – can ground you.
• Plan for connection. Don’t wait until you “feel like it.” Schedule time with friends or family to buffer isolation.
• Practice acceptance. Remind yourself: “This is just anxiety showing up because change is hard for me.” Naming it reduces its power.

For additional guidance, explore our CBT therapy services to learn how we tailor strategies for each individual.

Fall Mental Health Reminder: Finding Balance Through Seasonal Change

Feeling your mood shift with the change of seasons doesn’t mean you’re overreacting. Your brain and body are genuinely responding to the transition. With a mix of compassion and practical tools, fall can become not just a season of endings – but also a season of grounding and growth. 🍁

❓Frequently Asked Questions About Fall Anxiety

Q. What’s the difference between fall anxiety and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)?

Fall anxiety often shows up as restlessness, worry, or difficulty adjusting to new routines. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a form of depression linked to reduced daylight, with symptoms like low mood, loss of interest, and fatigue. While they can overlap, SAD is more severe and persistent than seasonal anxiety.

Q. Why does anxiety get worse in the fall and winter months?

Shorter days affect your circadian rhythm and brain chemistry. With less sunlight, your body makes more melatonin (which makes you sleepy) and less serotonin (which regulates mood). That shift can increase fatigue, low motivation, and vulnerability to anxious thoughts.

Q. How can CBT help with seasonal anxiety?

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) teaches you to recognize unhelpful thought patterns (like “Fall is always hard for me”), challenge them, and replace them with more balanced perspectives. CBT also emphasizes behavior change – like scheduling enjoyable activities, spending time outdoors, and maintaining routines – to support mood and reduce anxiety.

Q. What are quick ways to ease anxiety during fall?

Simple steps can make a big difference: get 10-15 minutes of morning daylight, keep a steady sleep schedule, use journaling to process anxious thoughts, and plan regular social connection. Pairing small, consistent actions with self-compassion helps build resilience through the seasonal shift.

Q. When should I seek professional help for seasonal anxiety?

If your anxiety or mood changes start interfering with daily life, or if you notice hopelessness, withdrawal, or ongoing low mood, it’s time to reach out. A therapist or healthcare provider can help you identify whether you’re experiencing fall anxiety, Seasonal Affective Disorder, or another condition, and create a treatment plan that works for you.

🌟 Looking for Support This Fall?

The change of seasons doesn’t have to feel overwhelming. With the right support, fall can be a season of growth, grounding and renewal. If you’re ready to explore CBT tools for easing anxiety and finding balance, Dr. Bauer at Anxiety Wellness Center of Chicagoland is here to help.

🍁 Contact AWCC to get started

Social Anxiety in Kids: Parent Tips for Back-to-School

Back-to-school season can be stressful for many kids and teens – but especially difficult for those struggling with social anxiety. For these kids, the challenges go beyond homework and new teachers. Maybe your child dreads the cafeteria, avoids speaking up in class, or worries constantly about what other kids think. Many parents wonder how to best support their child through back-to-school social anxiety without accidentally making things worse.

Here are some practical strategies to help your child feel more confident this school year.

Normalize Their Socially Anxious Feelings (Don’t Minimize)

Kids and teens with social anxiety or school-related anxiety often feel “different” or even ashamed of their fears. Instead of brushing it off with, “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine,” try saying:

• “Lots of kids feel nervous about being around new people.”
• “It makes sense this feels overwhelming and scary.”

When you validate their emotions, you’re letting them know their anxiety isn’t weird – it’s human.

Challenge The “What Ifs”

Social anxiety is fueled by “what if” thoughts: What if nobody talks to me? What if I embarrass myself? Help your child break down those fears by asking:

• What’s the worst that could happen?
• How likely is that to actually happen?
• If it did, how would you handle it?

This kind of realistic thinking is a key part of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT helps shrink those big, scary thoughts into something more manageable.

Practice Social Skills In Small Steps

Avoiding anxiety triggers only makes them grow. Instead, support your child in practicing small, doable steps:

• Role-play introductions or conversations at home.
• Set up a one-on-one hangout before the first day of school.
• Encourage them to ask a teacher a question, even if they already know the answer.

Each exposure builds confidence and shows them that anxiety doesn’t have to be the boss.

Be A Calm Role Model

Kids pick up on your reactions. If you show your own anxiety about drop-off or new situations, they may mirror it. Model calm confidence by saying things like:

• “I feel nervous sometimes too, but I know I can handle it.”

This shows your child that it’s okay to feel anxious and that it’s possible to face it anyway! And if you’re wondering how to manage your own back-to-school stress as a parent, I wrote about that here.

Focus On Effort, Not Perfection

For kids with back-to-school anxiety, bravery doesn’t always look like making five new friends on day one. Sometimes, it’s just walking into the cafeteria or raising their hand once in class. Praise the effort, not just the outcome. Over time, this helps them build resilience and self-trust.

Know When To Seek Extra Help

If your child’s social anxiety keeps them from attending school, making friends, or participating in everyday activities, professional support can make a big difference. Child and teen therapists trained in CBT can help them build long-term coping strategies and self-confidence.

Final Thoughts

Back-to-school season is rarely easy for kids with social anxiety. But with your steady support, validation and encouragement, they don’t have to face it alone. Remember: your job isn’t to erase their anxiety – it’s to help them see that they can feel nervous and still take brave steps forward.

If your child’s social anxiety is making school overwhelming, seeking support can make all the difference. Whether through school resources or therapy, you don’t have to navigate this alone – and neither does your child.

At Anxiety Wellness Center of Chicagoland, I specialize in supporting kids, teens and parents through anxiety with evidence-based tools like CBT – so your family feels less overwhelmed and more supported.

Have a friend whose child also struggles with school anxiety? Pass this along – they may find comfort and useful tips here too.

Back-to-School Anxiety for Parents: CBT Tools to Manage Stress

Let’s be honest: the start of the school year can feel a lot less like a fresh start and a lot more like an emotional tornado wrapped in a to-do list. If your thoughts are racing, your stomach is in knots, or you’re lying awake wondering how you’re going to manage it all, you’re not alone. Back-to-school anxiety for parents is real and often not discussed.

Back-to-School Anxiety Isn’t Just for Kids – Parents Feel It Too

Back-to-school anxiety is extremely common among parents. And while it’s easy to think, “It’s just a busy season, I’ll power through,” it’s worth slowing down and paying attention to what’s going on beneath the surface.

Here’s the good news: Understanding your anxiety through a cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) lens can help you feel more grounded and more in control – even when life feels anything but.

1. Notice the Thought-Feeling-Behavior Cycle

CBT starts with this core idea: our thoughts affect how we feel, and how we feel affects what we do.

Here’s an example:

• Thought: “I’m already failing. Everyone else seems to have it together.”
• Feeling: Defeated, anxious, irritable
• Behavior: You procrastinate, snap at your partner or kids, or overwork trying to “catch up”

Sound familiar?
When you notice yourself feeling overwhelmed or anxious, pause and ask:

• What was I just thinking?
• Is that thought helpful or true?
• How is it affecting my mood or behavior right now?

The goal isn’t to shame yourself. It’s just to shine a light on the patterns so you can begin to shift them.

2. Challenge Catastrophic Thoughts Caused By Your Back-to-School Anxiety

Anxiety loves to jump to worst-case scenarios:

• “What if my kid has a meltdown at drop-off every day?”
• “What if I can’t keep up and everything falls apart?”
• “What if I mess this up and they struggle all year?”

These thoughts feel real – and they are loud! But they’re not always accurate.

Try asking yourself:

• “What’s the actual evidence for this thought?”
• “What’s another way to look at this?”
• “If my friend were having this thought, what would I say to them?”

CBT doesn’t ask you to be blindly optimistic. It just helps you move toward more balanced, flexible thinking – especially when anxiety is distorting the view.

3. Make a Plan (Instead of Just Worrying About One)

Worry creates the illusion of control. It feels like doing something, but often it just leaves you more mentally drained. CBT teaches us to shift from rumination to problem-solving. Here’s how:

• Identify the specific worry (i.e., “I’m anxious about chaotic mornings.”)
• Ask: Is this a real problem I can take action on?
• If yes, brainstorm 1-2 small steps (i.e., prep clothes the night before, build in a 5-minute buffer)
• If no, practice letting the worry go (i.e., with a grounding exercise, mindfulness, or self-compassion)

Pro tip: You can’t plan your way into total certainty – but you can build confidence in your ability to cope.

4. Use Behavioral Experiments to Test Your Beliefs

One common CBT strategy is the behavioral experiment. It’s basically a way of asking, “What if I tried something different and observed the result?”

For example:

• If you believe, “If I don’t control every detail, everything will fall apart,” try letting go of one small thing (like school snack perfectionism), and see what actually happens.
• Or if you think, “I have to hide my stress so I don’t upset my kids,” try being honest (“Mom’s feeling a little overwhelmed today too”) and see if it creates connection instead of chaos.

This is how we start to loosen anxiety’s grip – not just by thinking differently, but by giving ourselves evidence that different is possible.

5. Schedule Time to Recharge (Yes, Put It on the Calendar)

Your nervous system needs recovery time to stay regulated. When you’re constantly in go-mode, your stress response doesn’t get a chance to rest.

So: schedule recovery tie the same way you schedule school drop-offs or soccer practice. Put it on the calendar. Protect it. Treat it like it matters – because it does.

And no, it doesn’t have to be a full spa day. A walk. A 10-minute break with your coffee. A no-phone car ride after drop-off. Anything that gives your brain a moment to breathe.

This isn’t indulgent. It’s necessary.

Practice Self-Compassion, Not Self-Criticism, to Manage Back-to-School Anxiety

When anxiety shows up, it often brings a sidekick: self-judgment. You might think:

• “Why am I so anxious about this? Other parents are handling it fine.”
• “I should be stronger, more organized, less emotional.”

But here’s the CBT twist: Beating yourself up doesn’t make you feel less anxious. It makes you feel more anxious – and more stuck.

Try treating yourself like you’d treat a struggling friend – with kindness, not criticism. Try saying:

• “This is hard, and I’m doing my best.”
• “It’s okay to feel this way. I can handle it.”

You’ll be amazed how differently your body and mind respond when you lead with compassion.

Final Thought: You Don’t Need to Eliminate Anxiety – Just Learn to Work With It

The goal isn’t to make back-to-school anxiety disappear. (Spoiler alert: it probably won’t.)
The goal is to notice it, understand it, and respond to it differently.
With awareness, skill-building, and a little self-kindness, you can meet this season from a steadier place – even when it’s messy. Even when it’s hard.

You’ve got this. And if today you don’t feel like you do? That’s okay too. Start where you are.